Fundraiser for me!

I consider myself pretty lucky!  I have a supportive and loving family, and I also have amazing friends.  In november my sister had planned a fundraiser for me to help cover some of the cost for my surgery.  I was not expecting much of a turn out simply because I thought (especially in this economy) people have lots of other way more important things to spend their money on.

I was so moved and touched when by the end of the night we found we had raised over $2,000!  It helped me get that much closer to my goal!

I'm not brave I am just me

Just as the title says I'm not brave I am just me.  I put my pants on like everyone else, I walk by putting one foot infront of the other & I switch off which leg I put my injections into.  Okay so maybe I am not typical, but that doesn't make me brave.  I actually started asking people why they thought I was so brave, or inspirational and these were some of the things that they responded with and then my response back to them after thinking about it:

• "You didn't know people's reactions before you came out so it took courage to do it anyway."
• That was part of the reason I didn't just do the post on Facebook, I came out to a select few people because they were open minded.  True being open minded doesn't necessarily mean you accept everything but I had a good feeling.  So once I had a support group that I knew I could fall back on if anything went wrong it was not nearly as daunting a task as it initially seemed to be.
• "You aren't afraid to be who you are"
• I decided that I had spent enough time slowing killing myself with my negative and judgmental thoughts.  No fate that others dish out could have been worse then what I was consistently putting myself through.
• "You are so open about all of it."
• It is a part of me and my history.  Not all trans people necessarily agree to this but in my opinion if I wasn't open about it then I would feel that I was ashamed of my reality & circumstances and that is in no way the case.  Biologically I was born a little girl who grew up to become the man he always knew himself to be.  If people in the trans community are not open and/or okay with who they are then that sends a message to anyone thinking about coming out to just keep it inside because it is better then admitting it and hating yourself.

Other than that it started becoming relatively the same sorts of ideas and comments.  If I inspire people that is fantastic, but I really don't see myself as any more brave/courageous than the next Tom, Dick, or Harry.

1 year after coming out

So September 25th was one year after coming out to the world.  A lot of people asked me if I was happy.  I could only respond with "I am the happiest I have been in as long as I can remember."  Some people continued to show their support and let me know that I am an inspiration, courageous & other such things (which I am going to go into more detail in my next post).

I still consider myself incredibly lucky because I have not really faced any negativity.  No one has actually said or done anything to put me down or make me feel inferior (aside from people misgendering me).  I am sure I have said this before...and I am sure I will say it again, but it is truly sad that because I am being treated as a human being I am "Lucky".  It truly says something about the world that we live in if we cannot accept and appreciate the differences that make each one of us special, unique & one of a kind.

Almost 10 months on T

It has been awhile since I have done an update but the changes have been a lot more slow coming.  I am really noticing a bigger difference in the muscle structure of my arms.  My voice is still dropping (something I will NEVER complain about...lol), unfortunately for a vast majority of the population I still sound like a female on the phone or over a drive thru intercom.  One awesome thing that happened a few days ago was I went through the KFC drive through and one of the things in my order the guy didn't quite get so he said "And what was that last part sir?"  I was ecstatic!  And less of my fat is residing in my hips and butt.  Short but to the point.

Name Change Process

August 5th I went to court and filed for my official name change.  Being that it was something that I had never done before there were a few questions that I should have asked:

• How long will the process take?
• Will I need multiple copies of the name change certificate?

Well I can tell you by this point it is August 20th...I have been waiting for over 2 weeks to receive the certificate in the mail.  I didn't think it would take nearly this long...but silly me I suppose I had too much faith in our judicial system/government.  

However I know the next steps I will need to take once I receive the certificate.  My next stop will be the social security office.  When there I will need to have the certificate as well as my birth certificate and license (or some other form of photo identification).  Once I receive my SS card in the mail after all the information has been changed I can then go to the RMV.  There I will need my SS card, and my license (which will most likely have to be surrendered...at least i had to do that when I got my gender marker changed).  Both places I will also have to fill out other paper work.

At least the longest (Knock on wood) and most expensive part of it is over.  Here's hoping I'll get the certificate soon!    

Helpful hints while dealing with someone who is transgender

1. If someone is FTM or MTF do not say that they don't look like a man or woman 
• Honestly men all look different as do women, there is not one specific look that everyone has to follow to be the gender they know themselves to be
2. Calling someone IT
• Personally I don't have an issue with it.  I would rather you call me it then misgender me completely.  Others however get VERY angry.  This should depend on your relationship with the person that is transgender.
3. DO NOT out someone
• Transgender people (escpecially if pre everything*) have a challenge in trying to get people to believe their true gender identity.  If they have passed and actually have someone believing that they are the gender they know themselves to be then don't ruin that by outing them and making other people know that they were not born in the right body.
4. The word "Tranny"
• There is a lot of debate about this in the community.  Some people say that it should not be used at all.  Others say it is okay to be used within the community itself.  Personally I think everyone should be allowed to say it or no one should be allowed to say it.  I totally understand trying to take back the word or not wanting people to use it with a negative connotation but by saying that one group of people cannot say it but we can just sort of defeats the idea of equality, don't you think.
5. Gender Identity vs. Sexual Preference
• Do not assume they are the same thing.  Someone who is transgender can be bi, straight, gay, pansexual, asexual or any other kind of sexual preference there could possible be.
6. Last but not least Gender Reassignment Surgery
• Honestly it is none of your business if someone has gone through part of the surgery all of the surgery or none of the surgery.  That does not make them any less of a man or woman.  Genitalia does not make the gender and I cannot stress that enough.

* Pre everything means pre hormones and pre op which just means they have not had surgery yet

6 Months

So it has been awhile.  I haven't really had much to report on or I just have not had the time to write.  So here is the update.

April 24th was 6 months on T!  My voice still continues to get lower which is a good thing.  There is more hair growing on the underside of my thighs.  I shaved my mustache on April 19th and it is just starting to show again now.  I am starting to get hair on my cheeks but it is SUPER light and VERY short.  I got a haircut (my dad said I looked like a marine) but it seems to be helping.  The past week or so I have gotten a lot more Sirs then Ma'ams...

On another note I am sad because my endocrinologist (the doctor that prescribes my testosterone) is moving to California because her husband got a job.  But we will soon be figuring out whether I will just be getting a new Endocrinologist at Harvard Vanguard or if I will be getting referred to Fenway Health.  It sort of depends on my cholesterol levels.  I have always had high cholesterol, but I had really high good cholesterol so it was never really an issue.  Because I am now taking testosterone that could greatly change.  I am going to get blood work done in a week or so and we will go on from there.  Since I have lost some more weight and have been trying to be a bit more health conscious it won't be a problem...here's hoping anyway.

Now I have lost a total of 45 pounds from when I was my heaviest!

That's all for now.